2 things that should never be in my house

Sunday night it rained. A lot. Jeramy went to bed early (well, early for us late night people). I decided to go downstairs and read for a while. I got downstairs and almost stepped on something long and brown. I thought it was just paper or something, then it started to move. I let out a little "yelp," it was a snake! OK, maybe not a snake, but a really long worm...alive...in my house.
I don't do worms.
*Or snakes.
The thought of having to get it out of the house was giving me chills. So, I did what any of you would have done - I woke Jeramy up. He was not too impressed. We had to play the "what's it going to take for you to come down and take the worm outside game."
Breakfast in the morning was the winning offer.
He went downstairs, I heard him laugh.
Then I realized Jeramy loves nothing more than teasing me. I start to think about him coming upstairs to chase me around with this massive worm. So, I grabbed the best weapon I could find so quick...the squirt bottle. I stood at the top of the stairs, armed and ready to attack. I listened to him open the door, then close and lock it, then start to come up the stairs. I checked his hands as he walked, and they looked empty, so I put my weapon away.
I told him why I was packing the squirt bottle around and he laughed again. He then reached down on his side of the bed, picked something up and threw it at me.
I kind of freaked out a little bit.
It was...a black elastic.
Whew.
And my paranoia doesn't end there. I went back downstairs to read and as I approached my blanket and book, I had the thought, "What if he put it on my blanket?"
Yup, I had to check my blanket before I sat down.
I guess it was a good thing he was too tired to tease me.
I tend to be an easy target.

* Side story...our neighbors recently bought a snake. A python or something really freaky. All the kids in the hood have been over to check it out. I, have not. Nor will I. Around 9 the other night, there was a knock at our door. I went and answered it and it was the neighbor Dad.
"So, I know Jeramy wanted to see the snake, is he here?"
"Yeah, I'll send him over."
"Um, well, I have it with me."
I then realize he is hiding his arm from me. (How totally nice of him not to be holding it up in front of him when I answered the door. I might have peed my pants).
Yuck.
I go get Jeramy. All the girls squeal in delight and run down to meet the snake.
I run the other way.
After a few minutes, I get braver and come check the snake out.
Yuck.
I didn't invite him in.
They had their little snake party on the porch.
He even said, "If you'd like to see how long he really is, I can lay him down on your carpet and he'll stretch out."
Nope.
Not coming in my house.
My girls have been a little obsessed with snakes. Macie had a Fruit by the foot the other night and she put it around her neck and said, "This is how Jenny carries the snake at her house."
Yuck.