The car wash

I really hate automatic car washes. 
I very rarely will use them. 
I get teased a lot for how dirty my car is. 
So, last week I got brave and decided I would use the automatic car wash.  Everyone else does it, how hard could it be? 
I swiped my card.
Drove in.
Thought I was in the "groove" that makes the car wash start. 
Must not be. 
Backed up.
Nope.
Went forward.
Nope.
Back and forth.
Nope. 
Then nothing. 
I was stuck. 
Really stuck. 
I sat and tried to think of what to do.  If I got out of my car, what if the car wash turned on?  Do I call Jeramy?  That was a quick "NO."  Because A) What could he do a half hour away? B) He would die laughing and I really didn't need that right now.  I walked over to the attendant booth only to find an older gentleman who was probably close to 400 pounds watching TV.  I told him I was stuck.  He told me to just back out and try again.  I told him I could not.  He finally huffed and puffed and got himself off the chair and grabbed his cane and walked down to the car wash. 
Yep.  I was stuck.  He tried to tell me how to turn my wheel to get it out, but nothing would work.  He stated the obvious, "I can't push you."  (Yeah, I can see that huge man with a cane).  So I asked if he could steer my car while I pushed.  He assessed my mini van and let me know that he would not be able to get in - it was too high up. 
And then he was done.  No other ideas.  So, I went down to the comfortable "wash your car as fast as you can before your time runs out" bays and found a nice enough looking guy and asked if he could do me a favor.  He hesitated and then said, "Maybe...what do you need?"  (As I'm thinking "Maybe, MAYBE, what does he think I'm going to ask him to do??)  I explain the situation to him and he says he'll come take a look when he gets done. 
I walk back down.  By now Lexi is screaming her head off so I make her a bottle.  I finally text Jeramy with this picture...

And he replies, "How on earth did you do that??" 
Yeah.  Still not sure. 
After what seems like forever (and probably $20 in coins to wash his car that long) the guy comes down to help.  Old man hobbles down to see if new guy can help me. 
New guy is amazed as well at how stuck I am.  Old guy says, "Never in my life have I seen someone get stuck like this!"
Yup.  That's me. 
New guy pushes and pushes and finally gets me out.  Old guy takes pity on me and resets the car wash so I get a "Free" car wash (I already paid but my time ran out).  In all honesty, I was ready to floor it and never look back, but I really needed a car wash.  New guy guides me in.  I can see Old guy laughing in my rear view mirror. 
I feel like the biggest idiot in the world.  I text Jeramy again.  As I'm texting I think, "Man, this is a loud car wash."  Then I look back to see that the back windows are open and I'm getting a car wash on the inside, too.
I think I'm done with car washes.